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*Possible Trigger Warning*
I'm trying to figure something out. This past Friday I had a very bad episode of Psychosis. The second time in my life. A friend of mine had to sit with me until I calmed down enough to get to sleep. I've been reading up on psychosis as much as I can here at work, which isn't much with all the blocked sites. I'm starting to wonder what the difference between hallucinations and psychosis kind of in depth. There are some things in my past that come to mind after Friday's episode that make me wonder if I have been bipolar since I was a child. I remember there was a time in my life where I thought that demons were trying to get me to commit suicide. There were voices in my head arguing and they wouldn't shut up. I was everything in the book to these voices. Stupid, Ugly, Slut, ***** nothing was off limits to what these voices said to me. It was usually at night when this occurred. I'm trying to understand the difference because I think this is important to tell my therapist. Even though it was years ago I want to make sure that I am on the right track with my diagnosis. I also remember once the night after my aunt died I saw a pale little girl in a white bloodstained nightgown. It was only for a second. I've also Had it once where I was awake in my room. I heard foots steps walking above me (my room is downstairs) but no one was home. I heard them come down the stairs through my daughters rooms which you have to walk through to get to my room It felt like someone was pressing on my chest. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, I could only pray... I've been afraid to take a nap in my bed in the daytime ever since. Can someone help me understand the difference between the two that would make since to someone who currently has brain fog from the medications I'm on? Thanks.
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