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Old Feb 07, 2017, 06:13 PM
Bpd0228 Bpd0228 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Madison
Posts: 4
My story (quite abbreviated): I started "acting out" hitting my head on the wall, destroying my bedroom, screaming, etc at age 16. Put on Zoloft. Again. And Again. And Again. Never effective.

Now age 34 with a 4 y/o and 3 y/o. Divorced from their dad, who has always been a great friend and still is.

Currently with a partner who is the only one I've ever trusted and truly loved. But I'm going to destroy it. I freak out when he wants to do something as simple as go out with a friend (totally normal, right). My anxiety goes through the roof. Other times any little thing will set me off. Stupid things, and when I calm down I feel guilty as hell because of my behavior.

For the last year I have persistently and adamantly sought treatment and a diagnosis. I've seen four doctors, and have been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma and abuse from age 0-4 by my biological mother, attachment disorder, BP II and now finally BPD. Note: It was a struggle to get the BPD diagnosis because I do not cut or have suicidal thoughts.

I just started Lamictal and Wellbutrin; I'm on 50mg of Lamictal and 300mg Wellbutrin. I have Klonopin to use as needed.

In two weeks I begin individual and group DBT.

I just need encouragement. I hate how I treat the person I love the most. He is so amazing and deserves the best. I need to get there. I'm doing everything I can. I want to be normal, I want to say go have a great time with your friends and I'll see you later. I want to not snap at him over stupid things. I just want to be "normal"

Please share your stories of DBT, medications that have helped and any relationship advice you have.
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Skeezyks