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And what do I really have to complain about? My family didn't do drugs or illegal activity or physical or sexual abuse (with one exception, but I wasn't involved or even around - it was long after my escape). How could this system really be responsible for a suicide and so many wasted lives?

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Something you needed then was lacking though, it seems. A dysfunctional family can appear to be an ideal family ... from the outside; but from the inside it can be a sad and very lonely place.