Well most of us aren't psychologists, perhaps you should visit one (or a therapist). However, the fact that you feel strong affection towards your cats makes me think that there's a wonderful side of you. Part of my problem when I was depressed was that I wasn't facing some of my "issues". Sometimes we can get in the habit of burying our feelings (I hadn't really cried for a long while either) and lying to ourselves about our true problems. If you do this all of the time, we can slowly numb our emotions. Sort of distance ourselves from our true selves and maybe unexpressed anger about something is buried too. Though some of our feelings can sort of appear in a ways we cannot control in the form of irritability, panic attacks, that kind of thing. I don't know if any of this applies to you. Just wanted to give you a response. To let you know I read your post.