I ended up giving in to one of my monsters last night. The big green slobbering one that holds a razor in its hand. I stopped by walmart last night and picked up a cake and a box of double sided razors. All the way home I was saying don't give in you can beat this etc. Well I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was because I cut. Well I ended up calling my GP and luckily he was on call last night not one of his partners. We had a good talk and when I saw him this morning he said he was disappointed I couldn't throw the razors away but he understood why. He told me to call my pdoc asap and up my level of effexor again because we had lowered it with my last appointment. He said that my quitting smoking and the lowering of the effexor level was a major shock to the system and something needed to be raised and he didn't want me to start smoking again just to maintain statis quo. I agreed and called my pdoc but he's home sick today so I will have to find what he wants to do tomorrow. I have a feeling that when I get home tonight its going to be another battle and sadly my gp won't be on call tonight but he said if I needed to I could call him at home.

Janniebug