Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I was subtly flirting. When I said I had just moved to town, I was opening the door to possibilities. When I said I liked the song, I was hoping you'd ask me to dance. When I said I was getting a drink and offered you one, I was showing you I cared about you and was hoping you'd take the cue, which you did, and came with me. Then that would put us both together in the next experience of getting drinks together, etc...
When I ask my husband how was his day, I am just showing him I care, and somewhat do care how was his day.
When I ask less intimate friends how they are. I am just being polite, but do really want to hear how they are, as it is a conversation starter.
When I run into people and ask how they are, it is common to just say fine, because we are busy and it's just a quick social nicety.
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What do you mean by possibilities? I have to say, I was a little puzzled by that part when you (by you, I mean the fictional person you represented) said you recently moved to town (by every part really), as I thought it wasn't relevant to the question I asked, that's why I think I didn't comment on it. I thought may be it was just to fill a conversation. At one point I wanted to ask why and ask you where were you before, but thought it wasn't polite, because it seemed a personal question.
When you said you loved the song, I wasn't sure what you wanted, to talk about music or for me to ask you to dance. I thought about asking you to dance, but again, I thought it wasn't appropriate because I just started talking to you.
At least I picked up one cue, which to be honest, I fought very hard to to have the courage to act on it, because I also wasn't sure what you meant. I thought maybe you wanted to avoid me (you saying if you can bring me something was a possible polite exit), and I wanted to stay at the table, and avoid further engagement and embarrassment. It was somewhat overwhelming to engage.
I'm not sure if these are normal reactions, but I had conflicting emotions for each part. Nothing came spontaneously. I had to think all the responses very hard. And this is really what happens with me in real life. It takes me very long to decide what to say after too much conflict inside my brain, which I guess sends the signal to others that I'm not interested
which isn't the case, well, not all the time at least. Too much thinking and analyzing. My brain is not helping me in that area.
You seem like a sociable and spontaneous person. Not everyone is like that. I recently finished my job, and went to see my supervisor for something, and I prayed that I wouldn't see anyone else, but I came across the secretary by coincidence, who I think is a nice person, and began asking me all these questions about what I am about to do and some other personal stuff ... etc. It was a nightmare to me. I felt that I wasn't engaging properly. It's not just the content of the conversation, but the voice's tone, the eye contact, the body language ... etc. Everything wasn't normal. I wanted to run away.