I think you already know the answer and I think you know what you need to do, but perhaps need reassurance.

Have you ever read the book "He's just not that into you?" Watching the movie won't tell you what you need to know. Yes its a cute movie, but the book is much more "in your face" and to the point.

So anyway, there's this story about a woman who is with a guy for around the same amount of time, I think 7 years? (This story reminds me of yours.) The guy is telling the woman that one day they'll get married, when the time is right, when this is right, when that is right. One day it hits the woman that HE has never said those words "I want to marry you"-----its always her who brings up the topic of marriage and he's the one saying "one day..." So the woman makes this realization that the guy isn't into her and instantly dumps the guy. She then finds a man who IS into her and thinks she's great, doesn't understand why she's not already married. Yes, its a book, and yes, its likely been fictionalized a bit, but the point is still there. If this guy was mad about you and totally head over heels and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he'd be showing you how much he loves you! Instead, your guy is using manipulation tactics to keep you around. (This isn't love.)

I think that 7 years is more than enough time for someone to change. You're not being cold and unfair. You want kids and marriage and.... This guy cannot give you what you need/want. In reality, you can end a relationship for whatever reason you so desire. If you hang on because its not fair to the other person (for whatever reason).....what is the point? Why sacrifice yourself and your wants/needs for someone who can't give you what you desire? Honestly, if you stay with this guy and don't have kids, you are going to regret it MAJORLY. Resentment will grow and if you're past your childbearing years it may make you a bit bitter for the rest of your life. The kids issue is something that I firmly believe partners need to be on the same page----if not, cut loose and find someone who is interested and able to have kids and doesn't give a million excuses why he doesn't want kids. (Remember, guys can have kids until they're geriatric, women can't----so the bio clock is indeed ticking for you while he has no concerns about this.)

As for him throwing all of those money issues in your face and saying if the shoes were turned you would be lucky to have someone support you? Uhm, I hate to say this, but MOST guys these days don't want a woman who is going to sponge off of them! I say "sponge" in the sense that there is no marriage, no kids to take care of, etc and one partner just sees the other partner as a source of money while they go out and follow their dreams. Once marriage and kids enter the picture, its more of a division of labor, as its important for a parent to be there to take care of the kids.

There are quite a few red flags....

He's in major debt. (Do you realize how this alone will put a huge crimp on your future plans?)

He can't hold a job. He has no desire to hold a job. (Yeah, following your dreams is great but he's a little boy in a man's body. The real world has responsibilities----do you know how many famous people were working 3 jobs on the side while simultaneously pursuing their dreams? Most weren't just sponging off a partner until they made it big. Not to mention the fact that MOST people don't actually make it big. He has a lot of growing up to do.)

He can't even accomplish something like neutering the cat! (10 "attempts" with 10 excuses? Its not about the cat issue, its about this being a reflection of the larger issue at hand.)

Remember, in the end, its your life and you can choose to live it however you please. And remember, there is no wrong reason for wanting out of a relationship. You can actually end it for no reason at all. It sounds to me like he's using you and manipulating you so that he can stay lazy. I fear that you've crossed the bridge and are now to the point of enabling him. There's no rule that says one partner must financially support the other person if they don't want to work and want to willy-nilly follow their dreams. I think he has a lot of growing up to do, and I think that's only going to happen once you stop supporting him. Don't let him manipulate you into changing your mind and giving up your dreams of marriage and a family.