I think about sex all the time but can't get sex. Sex seems to be normal and healthy for everyone else but not for me.
I was sexually abused at the age of eight. I have read amongst some on this forum who have also been abused have been very promiscuous afterwards.
For me it is completely the opposite, I feel ashamed about having sexual thoughts and cannot show any sexual feelings or desires. That doesn't stop me having sexual thoughts though. I'm afraid if I show any sexual feelings or desires to anyone else they will think I am dirty or perverted (and if by some miracle I was able to show any feelings, I wouldn't know how). I lost my virginity at the age of thirty and only because I paid for it. I don't get how people seem to be able to get sex rather easily and it's impossible for me. Is it because I don't show any feelings or hold them back? I am also painfully shy which is no help at all. On top of that, I have only realised in the past few months that my sexuality is to be dominated/controlled which goes back to the abuse. I am very passive. At the time of my abuse, I did not regard it as sex or possibly even knew what sex was but have only just realised that it was my first sexual experience. What made me repress all my feelings instead of going promiscuous? I wish I had gone the promiscuous route, because at least I would have had some fun and feel bad instead of being miserable and feeling bad anyway. I have recently started therapy again after a few years and have only just now to at least even mention the word sex to my therapist. It's a very difficult subject to talk about because of how I feel.
Basically, what do you do if you are in the situation where you want sex but sex is not an option or available? Masturbation only goes so far, it needs to be with someone else.