I've been struggling to take care of myself physically for a long time. Before, I did it just because I felt I 'had to' or other people would be disgusted by me.. Then I got so ill that I've spent the last few years at home, really letting myself go..

I've just realised I do this because deep down, I've felt it would be better if I'd never been born. I saw a therapist the other day, and realised there that this is how my dad felt - that for him, it really would have been better if I was never born.

But now I realise this isn't what I think or want! I don't want to die (yet). I'm happy to be alive and I want to live! My dad can think whatever he wants - I don't agree with him on this

I'm going to start learning to live from my own beliefs - that I am worthy, and I want to live!