Quote:
Originally Posted by Eleny
I have a new housemate who just moved in and she's so friendly and puts me at ease which not many do. As a result I can feel myself latching on, I just want to talk to her and be around her and feel so disappointed if she goes to her room. I want to be her best friend and spend time with her. I'm worried I'll scare her off or drain her, but I'm also glad I have the self awareness to notice it because I haven't in the past. So I guess that's a positive.
Can anyone relate? It's difficult when this happens because I always end up pushing people away or feeling hurt or let down when they don't reciprocate.  |
Your description here on how you feel says a few things. You used the words 'latch on' and that alone says a lot about how you likely cling to others, when you find someone that is available.
Considering this, it seems to me that this should be something that you should explore about yourself and find out why you would cling to people that you feel comfortable with. I say that because clinging is usually something that ends up smothering the other person which is why you clearly fear scaring her off as it probably has happened before right?
You have intense emotions and become attached easily it seems. This person just moved in and already you are feeling strong emotions when she has to leave you or goes to her room. it shows an overreaction and could be a sign of obsession more than what is good for a friendship.
Have you been in therapy for these tendencies? I know you state you are self aware now and that is a great start but sometimes we need guidance and a better understanding of ourselves to make changes needed in order to make healthy connections with others. I would recommend doing so.
I couldn't agree more with the above posters in giving her space and time and all the other things but I have to say more than likely a therapist could go a long ways to finding methods to fight your tendency to cling to others.
Hope this helps!