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Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian
Well, his dream seems like his #1 priority, so he probably can't think well of the relationship when he's starting to realize his dream is fading out.
I read about negative symptoms happening to men who turn into stay-at-home partners - they can develop that kind of complaining and can even develop depression.
I think going deep into his heart and understanding that he is devastated by his dream's outcome and being empathetic can ease his pain. It can take time, but it has to start with LEAP (Listening, Empathy, Acceptance and Partnering). You're partnering greatly as I see. Eventually you're gonna have to be there for each other, through the highs and through the lows.
He's not a loser, but feels life a loser. I'd say he's quite the warrior fighting for his dreams, you should be proud of it!
He may be depressed. I think he should get as much help and support as possible. Start with yourself, offer your heart and time for him, use both your free time to be there for him, even if it means staying at home and just talking things out at times for instance.
If you've really reached a point your help does nothing, consider a therapist to help guide him to a more suitable path regarding his dreams on one hand, and the current situation on the other hand.
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I think this advice is wrong,sentimental claptrap,I don't see anything wrong with your expectation that he pulls his weight and doesn't continue to use you as a cash cow.Wanting to make it big in music is his ego talking,if he were any good at it he'd have made it by now or at least be making a living out of it.The truth it seems to me is he is deluded if he thinks it is still going to happen or he knows it won't and is out of ideas how to earn a living,he is a one trick pony whose time is running out,the dream is fading and I think you have been there for him enough.it isn't emotional support he needs it is tough love.kick him into the here and now and show him you aren't his indulgent mother unconditionally hanging to cater to his every need while you shoulder all the burdens and make all the sacrifices.I can't believe someone is advising you to be gentle with him and support him emotionally,you already give it all financially.You work 50 hours a week he can't be bothered to take the cat to the vet,and someone is now asking you to give your few precious spare time to emotionally support the loser layabout as well.Well if that is love nowdays stuff it,I thought partnership was equal contributions equal responsibility anything else is dependency,resentment,and negative emotions.