((((((((((((McKell)))))))))))))))

In your thinking, you are coming up with many excuses as to not leave your husband at this time. I'm not saying that your thoughts are misplaced, you definitely have to think of the outcome of such a move. But I can tell you from experience, that staying with a man like that for the childrens sake is not the way to go. I can definitely say that staying will hurt them more in the long run. Do you think they don't see and have some comprehension already of what their father is all about? What their minds are capable of understanding now is that things are not right and dad doesn't do a thing for them...it's all about him.

You are right...there is no easy way around any of this. If you are looking for an easy way, you will not find it. What you will have to do is feel in your heart that you have done everything humanly possible to make the best of a very difficult situation. You will have to realize that no matter what you do, it will not change your husband. You are not responsible for his actions. They belong to him. What you are responsible for is how you handle the situation and the best things for you and your kids.

Perna is right, you should consult an attorney to find out what your options are. Just because your husband is on disability does not automatically mean he is entitled to alimony. Since you will be raising the children on your own....the courts will look at that and realize that they come first and foremost.

As far as your stepchildren and sons relationship goes...your steps know exactly who their father is and will find a way to make things work. It sounds as if they are all older, hence they will have the ability to make more rational decisions than your sons young age. They don't have to choose between anyone....if they love your sons, there will still be contact regardless of whether or not you are married to their father. Besides, it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with them....so let that relationship stand! The older kids I'm sure have seen how much you try to make things work and will be grateful for your efforts in the long run.

I know this is not an easy thing to come to terms with. I'm so sorry you are going through all this and your kids too. I'm not advocating that you leave your husband, I'm going on the premise that you are almost to that point in your own line of thinking.

I really hope you find an answer that you are willing to live with very soon. I wish you well!

Hugsss
sabby