Heh, I think you're under the impression that my grandmother can have a civil discussion with others. ^___^;; The reason I address my mother instead of my grandmother is because addressing my grandmother doesn't work. I've addressed my grandmother first for literally over a decade and that never worked because my grandmother turned everything on me and said how I was the bad one and how I was too sensitive and, at some points, she would make me believe that my memory was bad and that things didn't really happen in the way I thought they did. I didn't want to bother my mom at first so I'd always address my grandmother. I'd tell her that some of the things she said were hurtful and invalidating and that's when she would hit me with the "You're too sensitive" talk.

I would even try to protect my mom because my grandmother would talk about my mother behind her back and call her derogatory terms and that's when I would get defensive and tell her not to call my mom those terms. Then we would have an argument.

So, any other advice for me...?