Yep - my fam looked perfect from the outside - and i never could understand why ppl couldn't see what i was telling them. They'd just pat me on the shoulder and go away. "Teenaged angst" they called it.. Until my dad had blow ups at church or other functions. Suddenly they got it and sided with me, but that wasn't until i was nearly a legal adult. Now there's several people who tell me if they lay eyes on him, they're likely to harm him. Which is nice - they care from a distance. But it will never give me back a dad. He died to me when i was 10. Probably before, but that's when i gave up on him. a person can only kick a dog so many times before it hates that person. the weird thing is now, why do i feel guilty for hating him? how can he act so pathetic and wonder why i don't speak to him? how can he not know what he did? aside from the things that made me an adult far too young, he doesn't even remember the every day stuff - yelling, fighting, being emotionally abusive, kicking my pets, putting down everyone including his mom and making her cry. he thinks he's the best guy in the world, and a better parent. I just don't get it.