Do you ever find yourself in that place where you just don't know what to do with what you're feeling?

I'm pretty good at blocking out emotions and thoughts. Something which I am proud of, but probably shouldn't be as it tends to cause more harm than good, long-term especially. But every now and then, I get in this head space of, I'm not entirely sure what, and I just don't know what to do with it. I don't know what it is that's trying to reach the surface.

The week has been rough. Rough, but not that rough. Things have just happened, that have been expected, but I was hopeful that they wouldn't. I hoped they'd go well, that something might finally work. But yeah, as it goes, nothing went well. I'd been putting off a phone call for the past week or so because I feared that I would get the answer I didn't want. The answer that would then cause further stress. Well, I made that phone call today and sure enough, it had a bad outcome. It was going to happen either way, but I did not want to hear it.
I heard it, felt angry, disappointed, frustrated and just in pain. Then I quickly pulled myself together and decided there was nothing I could do until next week anyway.

So that is good, that's the way it's meant to go right? Accept things for what they are and continue on. Well it worked for maybe an hour. Then it all came sinking back and now I'm stuck with this, feeling. I never know what to do when this hits. I just sit, and stare into the distance and lose myself.

I wanted to email my T, but I hate doing that. I hate that every time I do use that option, I am left feeling uneasy and regretful. I hate the it all just feels like the same email every time.

I donno, what do you do when you don't know what to do..? I just feel lost.