Dear All,

First of all, thank you for the acceptance in the forum!
I am newbie here, so please excuse me if i do not post my thread in the right part of the forum.

My problem started from the moment i understood that my son, development wasn't quite normal.
Actualy all get started from his birth which was traumatic and after that his care became so stressful.
Due to normal dilivery, my son received anbceffalhematom after that he had a reflux then he recived a febrile seizure. An so on and so on till the moment my son was diagnosed with child autism.
From that moment on I was crying every day and I could not begin to blow what happens to me.
Constantly wondering why, but as you know there was still no unambiguous scientific advice on why some children were born with autism ..
If you wonder why i have not visisted a psychologist, it is because all funds gofor my son`s therapies like ABA and ocupational therapist.
I am planning to make an appointment for a cancer operation of tyroid gland, that partly might explain the depression(it is typical for hypotyroid patients with Hasimoto).
The positive thing here is that i find a solution to feel a bit better, started working part time.That really improved my depression episodes.
The worst thing is that once i feel ok and after a couple of minutes my mood changes to anger or just started yell at my son.

My main goal in my life was to have a good family and kid, but now i failed in that field.I feel total loser.
I am 36 and cannot say that i achieved anything so far.
Sorry for complaining.....