Constant anger and resentment is a classic sign of a narcissist,I am sorry to say.The fact he has toned down the abuse and gone subtle since you called him up on it is a sign that he was doing it deliberately and he knows it was wrong,he is controlling it now so he doesn't lose you completely,but you must know this relationship is bad for you.

The signs he is a narcissist abuser are obvious to me cos I cut my abuser out of my life two years ago,it wasn't until I went no contact that I saw clearly that the behaviour was abusive and deliberate,same things your partner is doing to you,constant anger,resentment,paying lip service to my needs but continuing the abuse and making his own needs a priority,ignoring me,telling me I am too sensitive and needy,making me feel guilty for having feelings and a whole lot more.

I know how confusing and unclear it gets cos right now he is deliberately setting out to make your perceptions of abuse wrong,you will be made to feel accusatory,unfair,that you are imagining it and he will be striving to show you he loves you,so you will have lots of moments of thinking,he loves me how can I think he does that deliberately,I am being unfair etc

Then when you have let him back into your life 100% trusting again,the cycle of abuse will start up again only this time it will be more severe and worse,eventually it will become physical and he will hit you and then it will lead to incidents where your life will be under threat and in danger.This is what happened to me,all abusers follow this pattern.

My abuser was my family,my actual sister,she was so confident she had total control over me she started arranging thing to bring about my actual physical death,sabotaging DIY jobs in my house escalating psychological emotional abuse so my mental health would deteriorate and I would be unable to be helped by services and attacked by her with no one to turn to the plan was me committing suicide.My sister was very clever and it was carefully planned and executed.

Obviously I don't know your situation exactly but one thing known about narcissists they all have the same tactics in common.If what I have wrote here helps you I am very happy to share it.

If you don't think it is applying to you that is ok too.Trust your own judgement cos as you say you have experience of toxic relationships and men to go on.

I know you are scared to tell him it is over just be prepared before you break the news,alert your family and the police that he is a potential problem and you are breaking up with him.Have strong arm friends around if he comes back to town.

That is the best advice I can give.The fact you are scared of him when he finds out you are not wanting to be with him anymore proves it is a good idea to leave,it isn't a reason to keep having him in your life is it,to not know if someone is safe for you,to feel he isn't yet stay out of fear of his reaction being violent isn't right in my opinion.

I hope you can leave him.Stay safe,best wishes to you Zedsdead.