The problem is that, when I am in to sb, (not in a relationship), this makes me feel trapped. I want the other person in every part of my life. Unable to be free, enjoy my freedom. There is always sth keeping me back from thinking and acting freely*. Without the other person knowing or doing sth like that, it's like some sort of mental boundaries, that pull me back. WHEN I AM IN LOVE, I AM NOT FREE. And this self-limiting mindset keeps me from reaching my full capabilities and limits my experiences in life.