Okay, I didn't read all the replies, but let me tell you a little story. In undergrad, I majored in dance. Then I got into a very prestigious grad school for dance, and I got my MFA in dance, and yes, went into some debt to do it. THen danced professionally for awhile, but I couldn't make ends meet. I went into a related arts administration field, and had a steady paycheck, but I still worked in dance as my passion, but not for the money. After a time, I pursued my career in arts administration and have not only thrived but made a good career for myself. My love of dance and my contributions to the art form are still there, and I still do it, but I support myself and I don't rely on someone else to fund my dream.

Your BF is lazing around, doesn't sound like he's really doing anything to actually work on his music, btw, and using you to support him because he can't get work in his field. I couldn't get work in my field and even if I could have, it wouldn't have paid enough. I knew that going into my career and knew I was going to have to be creative to continue to be an artist and not live with my parents my whole life.

He says you don't support his music career (did I read that right?) but it doesn't sound like he supports his music career either. Like what is he actually doing to make it happen? I know LOADS of artists (all kinds, musicians to actors, etc.) who teach, give lessons, work in marketing and promotions, or do something related to pay the bills, while they work on their performance art. That's practically the story of how it works. They teach in after school programs or get a teaching certificate to teach in schools or have a solid wedding band, and that's how they make ends meet while they do their edgy REAL art stuff.

So, my point is, I don't think he's really trying at all to make it as an artist. Artists who make it have 10% talent and 90% effort. They are business people first and foremost and know how to promote themselves and network. It's not necessarily because they are the most talented (in fact that is frequently NOT the case).

Okay, so on to the next point...I think you know what you need to do. You sound miserable. You do not sound like you really love him. You sound like you have serious doubts about whether or not you will have a future with him. Change is scary, but I think you will be happy if you follow your gut and plan for your future and the kind of man that you really want to be with. It sounds to me like you are a hard working, successful individual who goes out and gets what she wants. Pity on the man who gets in your way...so why are you letting this loser get in your way?

And the cat thing? Yeah, that sounds like the story of your life. 10 times, 10 excuses?

I don't know about his emotional feelings about you, but he certainly doesn't respect you.

Short answer: KICK HIM TO THE CURB. YOU CAN DO BETTER. AND WILL. IN A HEARTBEAT.

Seesaw