What's more important than your mental health? There's got to be options if you can't go to the hospital now. A crisis line? Talk to that person now for support? Are you saying you can't go to the hospital until the first of the month? If so, I really don't see you making it that long and there's no need to keep putting yourself through this when you can get some help relatively quick. I understand obligations, but how are you going to manage them feeling like you do? You need to be a priority , if not for anyone else , do it for yourself, and me I've kinda grown attached to you being here and I would miss our chats. But let me know if you go to the hospital so I will know where you are and not worry myself to death. Okay?