ElsaMars--Not argumentative at all--yes, every suicide attempt is very individual. Sometimes I go through times where I wonder if my posts are discouraging and fear they could be hurtful to the many people at PC without family/bf/gf. I don't like to talk about it here, but I do have my ups and downs with my H--married life is not perfect when you or your partner are mentally ill. Though it can be hard to know what things in our life push us over the edge the most.

I was trying to say that if you are in good health--an attempt could ruin it and chronic pain and disability makes a person more depressed sometimes, so consider that when you attempt you risk adding that problem to your life (which must already be very painful if you are attempting).

I like doing more than watching and feel like I can still do day hikes but not the type of Grand Canyon hike my H wants to do. I'm OK with just day hikes but feel a bit uncomfortable when H talks about this hike, like I'm not able to meet expectations or something. If I accidently carry to many groceries, an hour or two later I'm in pain and it can take a few days to go back to my original lower level of pain.

ElsaMars--I do appreciate your viewpoint on this. I think I was better at speaking about these things in a more empathetic way right after I attempted and not so much now--that is why I don't post quite as much as I used to at this forum (I used to post under a different username). I ocassionally remember how low I was the day I did it (when I am not medicated) but mostly the terrible emotions seem far away/unavailable. That is how bad someone feels when they attempt--so bad that with time we no longer remember if we are not depressed. For many at this forum--their emotional pain feels worse than physical pain. Hugs to all of your who are in so much pain and hugs to you ElsaMars--I know you have been through a very bad time recently and hope you are in less pain.