I'm an adoptee too, so I get the abandonment issues.
I don't really know what to advise you, as I have only started therapy recently and I don't feel any attachment to mine. I do find it very very hard to trust though, and once I do trust someone and let them in I am terrified of them leaving or doing something to make them leave.
I know I'm not answering your question here. I just wanted to let you know that I understand.