Thanks so much, Marylin for your encouragement and for sharing your own personal experience. The word "process" stuck out for me, and that it will take time.

I still cry nearly every day and have difficulties looking within and finding what it is that I need. Sometimes I feel I'm desperately looking to fill a void. I judge myself whenever I let my needs be known, out of shame when I sense I'm being needy. It's like a sense of urgency I have: needing everything right away, although that is unrealistic and unhealthy.

Then, it's part of the cycle for me to beat myself up, feeling I messed everything up, and now I'll be abandoned as a result. I know it must sound simple to many to just stop this vicious cycle, but the thoughts and urges are so automatic and ingrained in me. I hope my therapist can meet me where I'm at in the process. She won't be back for a couple of weeks, so I'm trying to fight these feelings on my own.

I'm glad that you were able to work through these particular issues. I'm sure it took a lot of hard work, healing, and facing a lot of difficult and painful things in order to address this and move forward. Hopefully with time, I can too.