yes they are very expensive ... sometimes if your careful and there are any underground papers (or web now) for local groups you can hook up with a play date ... pain or any feeling can seem like a way to deal with depression and I will admit it can and has gotten me thru a few bad times ... but I am not sure it is a healthy way to handle your emotional needs ... but then again I don't handle mine any better ... be careful ... sometimes we can get more than we can handle and it can come very quickly ... and sometimes it can cause more emotional hurt than it helps ... I hope you find what your looking for ....