Welcome to PC. Holidays and family dynamics can make them so hard. I am sorry that your family is making you feel insinignificant and uncared for. I am sorry your sister won't discuss your relationship which is causing you so much distress. I hope you are talking to your counselor about your strong feelings. If you are feeling that you have urges that are dangerous to you please find help immediately. I am sorry that you are feeling so bad.

BB