I've heard it said that if you retain perspective enough to ask these questions you're in a tough spot and need help but you're not psychotic. It's when you begin to have hallucinations and delusional thinking that seems normal to you (and that you make up elaborate explanations for that seem logical to you but bizarre to others that you have lost touch with reality.
I do believe that everyone in times of great stress experiences jumbled thoughts and impulses. When my brother died suddenly and I was on the plane to fly out to meet my family and see the body, I was convinced that if I prayed hard enough it would turn out to be a case of misidentification and that my brother was still alive--someone else had stolen his ID and died. not likely.
But stress can do that to you. Worth a discussion with your doc/therapist because it sounds like this might be a source of anxiety for you