I'm only now realizing how great of an impact PTSD has had and will always have on my life. Now that I've gone through healing and living with my life partner and trying to build a life together there are so many things that other people think nothing of that send me into chaos. Small things that are usually signs of endearment turn into me ending up offending her because of my reaction *sigh*. All the times I need to be by myself to recenter and keep myself balanced that she feels is a rejection of her, or at least makes her feel lonely. Only when all of this started coming up did I really understand what it means to live with PTSD. On better days I can console myself that at least I found someone willing to try to have a life with me. But I sure would love to feel what it was like not to have to live with PTSD.