EDIT: This is more sensitivity/anxiety-based.

I've been going through great changes lately, yet I feel I am going backwards when it comes to friendships.
I have one close friend, and he had a birthday 2 weeks ago. I only remembered about it this weekend.
Today I met with him at a bar. At the end of our meeting, I apologized for forgetting his birthday and offered and insisted that I pay for everything. I wished him some positive wishes.
When we went off, he thanked me for this. Yet something in my heart feels pain from this. On one had, I felt it was needed. I wanted to remember his birthday. I wanted to "fix" the past.
On the other hand, my heart tells me "there's really no meaning to birthdays. They are just dates...".
It seems as I have gone more superficial if not more caring.

I've been behaving with more impulse lately, that I can tell. It's to make up for holding some feelings for so long and listening to intuitions rather than always hold myself back, as it makes me feel I won't go anywhere that way...

This is more therapist material, but our meeting was today, so I have a week ahead of me.

I have mixed feelings. It feels like what I did brings the relationship far from each other because of acting more superficially. I feel down from this.