My sister called me and it was the first time in a while that she took it upon herself to call me. When we talked at first, it went pretty good.

But at the end I felt like she had dropped a bomb on me. She asked me if I thought she did the right thing with my mother before she died. My mother died 11 years ago. My sister was telling me, at that time, she had to choose to put my mother in nursing care or have her at home; and it would have been too much for her to take care of my mother. My sister feels guilty that she made the wrong choice (my mother was at the nursing care) and that she could have lived longer.

My sister and I went through that issue 11 years ago. I told her that she did the right thing with my mother. I thought that I had convinced my sister by telling her what I thought. I thought that the issue had been put to rest years ago.

But recently that issue has come back and I feel like I can't convince her that I thought she did the right decision. I tried convincing her again that she made the right decision, but it seemed like I couldn't get through to her. She wanted to go over every single little detail of the whole event. I had heard it many times before and I don't like talking about it, especially now, because it was many years ago. It drove me crazy; and then I just had to break down and tell her that I can't handle this and that she should see a counselor about it. She feels like I should hear all of the details because I am family and I would understand. After all of this time I don't want to hear about details about dying especially from many years ago.

I was not close to my parents. I felt like my sister had a better relationship with my late parents than I did. And it seemed like they liked her better than me. My sister took care of them up until the end because she wanted to. She told me that herself.

Was I wrong to suggest that she should see a counselor instead of talking to me about it in the future? And now I get the feeling she will not want to call me anymore. I felt a sense of betrayal because I felt like she was only reaching out to me because she was thinking about herself. If it were not for that, she probably would not have bothered calling me.