I know it's a melodramatic title, but seriously. Can everyone around me please stop dying???!
I've had FOUR people I was close to die in the past five months. Wtf. Really God? Why everyone? I'm so . . . Numb . . . Right now it doesn't feel real. My best friend, his wife, his son, and then yesterday night another of my friends died. I used to joke when I was I'm high school that I brought death to those around me. I literally warned my friends not to get too close. They all thought I was emo or goth. No, I was being serious. I moved across the country partly so I didn't have to see them die. Although I suppose if I never see them they're just as good as dead. . . You know... That's not true. Because I can still feel their presence and I know that they are well. Of the people I have become acquainted with in my new home five, out of the original nine, are alive. Effectively almost half of the people I have befriended in the past four years have died. Should I go back to my home town and rekindle my old friendships? Or should I continue traveling to stem the flow of death to my dearest ones? Is it more right that they should die in reserve of my old friends? Why does death seem to follow me? Is He waiting for me and I just unwittingly evade Him? I am Saddened. I can not seem to persuade or stop this God of Death.
|