Sometimes out of the blue I'll start freaking out, "What if I have another episode?" My biggest fear is that it will happen at work, so I envisioned what would happen if I lost my mind at work. The shame and humiliation, my parents unreachable, getting carted off in an ambulance kicking and screaming with all my coworkers watching. I get so scared when I think about this and I just spent 20 minutes having an anxiety attack over this. I know that as long as I take my medication it would never happen, but my life would be over if this were to happen again. I'd never be able to work again. I'd be a vegetable again. All my progress would be wasted and I'd have to start over. Would I have the strength to pull myself out again? To try to be a successful adult all over again? I'm flipping out and scared.