it just seems so hard, its confusing me even more than normal
i want to keep reading, going to try to pick it back up and read some more before my appointment...

but feeling like its gonna be impossible for some reason..

im trying to reflect and look at myself and stuff but its hard, like.. i cant see past right now, but even right now is really foggy

does that make any sense?
i know i have conflicting sides though... its just when i try to think about it i get disorientated... or something like that, i think im not supposed to know.. maybe im making things worse by pushing.. but i want to get better.. so i have to push right..?

guess its scary because its ouside of my normal...

it does mention IFS in this book

i keep zoning out... grrr...