Anyone with doubts about having kids should follow their intuition. "Regretting" it as an older person is bad advice. As a 75 year old, I do NOT regret being child free. I knew when I was a teenager that if I had an inherited disability I would NEVER have kids. I see the kids of people whose marriages were not good, and/or who had mental illness, and see troubled adults who are hostile to their parents. I didn't know I had bipolar until I was in my 50s, but I did know I was severely depressed, and needed privacy and a lot of sleep. I knew this was no way to raise -- or try to raise -- kids. I was raised by parents who hit me (they called it "spanking" a practice now illegal in many countries) , and I knew no other way to train kids. I had no intention of follow my parents' "discipline" methods, but had no other role models. With a mental illness, it can be very bad for kids. This is not a popular stance for a lot of people with mental illness, who claim they have a "right" to have kids. One of my local bipolar friends had kids because her mother wanted her to. Now the kids are in their 40s and the mother loves them, but wishes she had never had kids. My friend, the mother, was in and out of the hospital all through their childhood. This harmed her kids. They felt abandoned. Both the kids are bipolar. One is an addict -- alcohol and drugs -- and burglary -- and in and out of jail. He's handsome, charming, and has short relationships with women every few months. The other had a very good, years long, high paying job as accountant, but finally decided she could absolutely not handle it, and went to a job for a research company she had picketed in the past for animal cruelty. For months at a time, her son or daughter will not speak to their mother, which crushes my friend. There's a lot of resentment about their childhood. What about my own upbringing and family? On my dad's side: I didn't find out till I was in my 60s that my grandmother was hospitalized for "nervous exhaustion" (depression), and took meds (called Miltown, a controversial drug popular that the time). My dad, aunt, and uncle had depression. My uncle said to my dad when the uncle was dying, "I've never had a happy day in my life." My first cousin was hospitalized as a teenager. She was taken away physically from school My dad was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. All three of us kids are messed up in some way. My brother has major depression, and has had since he was at least 10 years old. I have bipolar, since I was 3 or 4. My sister has no dx, but is struggling with emotional pain, disordered kids (whose father had mental disorder). Not a good idea to impose one's own pain on having kids, whether born to you or adopted.