ewhen I first tried to wrap my head around having alters I was resistant. I couldn't internally sort it out. Intellectually the diagnosis fit my experiences but internally I couldn't see it. I had a lot of chaos internally trying to see if DID was what I was experiencing. After feeling like my mind would explode I decided to ask myself if it were so. If there were parts who were existing inside me. Slowly and simply some of the helper parts answered me. It wasn't an overwhelming blast if information. Just more like a yes you have parts. The strange thing was that the parts who came forward first, I knew. I had talked to myself before with a clear knowledge that I had different aspects of myself and sometimes needed to ask for input when making life decisions. Over time I learned about the other parts. But even the destructive parts had a sound reason for there existence and behavior. The internal affirmation that, yes I had parts and yes these parts came about as a means of surviving, enabled me to be accepting of my state. Now I am trying to see how to help the parts that are suffering. I don't think I will ever be without parts. I am not certain I have an original self because my switching is seamless. Except in session. That seems to be where my parts can be out if they want and express their concerns, pain, fear etc. We have rules that everyone has agreed to. No physical violence while in session. I have some parts who feel they need to punch a wall to be present. But we have all agreed we don't want to be in a hospital or get arrested. And respect is another rule. Even if we don't agree with what another thinks or says, they have the right to say it during session. My new t doesn't know much about DID. I think she still calls it MPD. So I have to be careful she doesn't try to hospitalize me. I see her once a month. She seems experienced with CBT and the rest of it will fall where it may. My answer to my question "am I DID" came from inside me. It is tuff to admit but it helped some of my parts to feel free and validated. And that lifted my system. Even the angry ones were validated and thanked for haven protected us when needed. Maybe take a quite time and ask yourself if you have parts. If they know your sincere in your need to know they will let you know. Than just take it slow.