Quote:
Originally Posted by Luce
That seems like a really important realization, Clarity. No wonder it is so hard for you to leave the house! I imagine at the slightest inkling of possible harm or vulnerability you want to retreat immediately to your home, and stay there.
This is the kind of thing that a trauma t can help with, even if it isn't possible to see one often.
I deal with a similar thing, though not as extreme. In structural dissociation it is sometimes called a 'phobia of traumatic material'. There is trauma associated with being out in the world, and trauma associations are avoided because a) they cause dissociation and b) they cause intrusive traumatic recall. So one tries to 'stay in the safety zone' by avoiding any traumatic association. When the traumatic association is being out of the house it can narrow one's ability to experience life considerably.
But a trauma therapist can definitely help with that kind of thing.
There is hope!
|
Thanks. I found a t who seems to be good at cbt. I can only afford to see her once a month because she does not take my insurance. The thing that freaks me out about people is they want to talk to you about things. I don't always understand what they are saying or why they are saying it to me. I just need everything to be quite. Where i have recently moved I have met my neighbors several time. We have said hi, talked about the weather that sort of thing. But if I came face to face with them in a different environment I don't know who they are. This has already happened. I can associate them with the apartment I live in but I don't remember who they are if I see them in town or on the beach. It rattles me . It makes me feel like I am not real. Like I dropped out of the sky and suddenly strange people know me. It disturbs me. Even my t that I spent 45 minutes with. I don't remember her name or what she looks like. So before our next session I will look up the group to remind me. Maybe that will change in time I don't know. I am making myself get out of the house every two days. I was out yesterday. I don't think I will go out today. I am safe here in my home and I don't have to talk to anyone.