Sounds like your friend is trying to go all Nanny 911 on you and your daughter. But you dont have to let her, just because she let the both of you stay there.

Her "contract" was with you, not your daughter. Unless your daughter is over 18, then maaaaaybe. Still, if you are willing to take the responsibility for your daughters actions, that should be enough for your friend.

Judge Judy might be able to get your daughter to apologize, but Judge Judy isnt there to make sure your friend stays civil and polite and kind towards your daughter.