its not that i CANT live. i just dont WANT it.

its not that i dont want to live. i just NEED to die.

i can find reasons not to die, but i dont want them.

please, help me. the bad part of me is winning.
rationally saying I NEED TO DIE.

the good part of me needs to win instead. at least for my mom.

but i cant do it alone.

im so terribly hurting inside, i cant say how much and explain it.

it just hurts and eats me alive. day after day. minute after minute.

please, help