I know what you mean. Feeling gross, and "grown" ... Old, used up, overwhelmed with stressed (even when you are young), lusty, rug pulled out. The relationships I was in, it was rape; to me love is supposed to be honest. I feel like they seduced me to get what they wanted and it wasn't love at all all along, and like you I don't want another speech about my standards, reactions, feelings, goals, actions, being open, etc. from the public. It's a lie like you said. I am open.

This culture of seduction is rape. It wasn't real, and it wasn't what I signed up for. I watched a lot of movies and television, and those things are gross; they are infinitely filled with countless "love stories" designed to make us all feel as if seduction is okay, and that our boundaries and desires don't matter, like love is narrated by others or some magical force, and I am horribly afraid of a society that allows this to happen, who is always chasing after some next big conquest of romance.