I'm guessing from the sounds of your post, that "N" refers to narcissist. Never heard of it referred to "N." Well anyway, taking it from a diagnosed narcissist, I can recognize some of the signs you said about your hubby in me. I constanty need supply, feeling superior etc, just like your hubby. I don't know what to tell you since I am the "N" but my old therapist,, whom I fired, told me that narcissists have really low self-esteem despite what they portray. They are vulnerable creatures. Remember that you and him are equals etc.. I don't know if I'm helping I am a bad advice giver. But at least I can admit this... I have made progress. Anyway good luck with this and remember one more thing N's are hard to change, maybe above all else get out and take the kids with you. Easier said than done I know. Anyway that's my two cents worth plus tips.