I have been in therapy for about 7 months now. I have realized I am having a hard time helping myself. The abuse as a child, the sexual assaults, the controlling abusive relationship has me has been hard to deal with. My therapist and have figured out that part of my problem is I am afraid to get back control of myself. I am afraid if I begin to tell people "no" or I can't they will hurt me or hate me. My therapist is really trying but I am stuck in this mindset that it is OK for me to be hurt but I cannot hurt or disappoint others. She has told me we have to deal with these things one at a time because each type of abuse is different but I honestly have a hard even talking about them. I am so embarrassed about the things that have happened and what I have done just to make others happy. I am so confused, angry, frustrated, scared, sad...Etc.

Thanks for listening to me vent!