What if I were to tell you I disagree? Reading your post I see someone who is coping best she can with her son, from my perspective that is so far from a 'loser'. You have a challenging set of circumstances, your own health issues would be enough to floor many people, your son's condition also - combined together you have a lot on.

Support is essential - do what you can to research what is available in your area, some places have support groups for families/carers of autistic children - the great thing about this is not only the coping strategies and tips you can learn but knowledge that you are not alone.

You know it is not helpful to yell at your son, he cannot help how he is anymore than you can help it. Learning self calming and relaxation may help a lot here.

Take good care of yourself.