Sorry I don't get how this is an issue there is only two of you. All you have to do is pick up after yourself. Do your own laundry. Whoever cooks the other does the,dishes. You take hoovering, she takes dusting and surfaces.
Cat litter, you do the days she is doing 12 hr shifts. She does the other days. One day each the weekend.
Job done.
You still game she still does whatever. And you go out on weekends.

I love gaming, have four kids am a single parent and still game.
It's doable.
If she is still spitting feathers after a fairway split.

Then the problem is something else.
All the best.