So are you just having a clitoral orgasm? Is this what you have when you masturbate? There are several different types of orgasms a woman can have & at different times too. You might wanto do some exploring on your own.
Most men really don't know this & kind of count on us to "show" them & give them hints as to what works.
What works best...tell them! For me that's really hard to do & embarrassing, but it does help a great deal.
Your partner has to also be adventurous in pleasing you too. Trying different positions, maybe exploring being sensual or tantric energy exchange & yeah using some toys! Women also reach a climatic plateau & if they're good they can use that to your advantage to intensify your orgasm.
You need to be comfortable with your toys first before you hand them to your partner. My partner will watch what I do with them so he can see how I use them. (The clitoris is a fairly large organ, most think it's just a "button.")

But your partner needs to be just as pleasured by giving you pleasure no matter how long it takes. There shouldn't be any shaming involved & if theyre tired they should at least help you in any way possible for you to have an orgasm so you feel satisfied too.
You deserve satisfaction too!