Abuse is about control.

Are you able to leave the situation? Is there another place of worship open to you as an alternative? Is there a counselor or spiritual mentor you feel it's safe enough to turn to. How do you feel about seeking advice from a spiritual advisor in another place of worship? If you have been taught that other denominations are bad, that too is a form of spiritual abuse - and is a good sign the church isn't so 'healthy' and enriching.

No religion or belief practise should be demanding, manipulative, and controlling. For that matter too no religion or denomination of such should be exclusive or spout hate in others.

I do hope you feel empowered enough to evaluate what it is that is abusive, missing, or just plain wrong. There is something out there that is the right place for you.