Well it's been a while. I'm feeling sad and anxious because I may have lost the only good friend I really care about. She told me yesterday that she was engaged (yes she's in a relationship and I don't like the guy but I'm biased) and I had an immediate emotional reaction. Now I know what you're thinking - you're in love with her. I don't deny I have feelings for her but I guess they're never going to get expressed. Over the last year or so I've been talking to her and she's also on all my social media sites. She would often comment on my posts and show concern for my mental health (wow). I was well aware she wa in a relationship but now it looks serious. She text me the other day and told me I was invited to the wedding. When I text her back I told her I couldn't go. Well she wanted to know why? I knew it was because my anxiety had increased substantially since she shared her "good news" and I don't think I want to watch her get married because I'm almost sure that will curtail any relationship we have. Long story short - she will leave dent in my already isolated existence. I'm really mourning this and it's hard to share her happiness. Thanks!