I've been very jealous of my closest friends at times. Of them being prettier, having funnier personalities, being more liked, of them being able to realise dreams I had myself but had to give up due to illness..

I don't know where I got the idea that being jealous is wrong, but for a long time, I felt really ashamed of my own jealousy. I also reacted nastily to it sometimes, by trying to ruin my friends' happiness. Luckily, I have a great therapist who I feel 'normalised' jealousy for me - she said that me trying to piss on my friends' parade is like a small child seeing another child get a new toy, feeling jealous, and then going and breaking the toy when no one's looking. What the child needs in a situation like that is for an adult to recognise their jealousy, explain that it's OK to want something someone else has, but that maybe it's not possible to get it because the child's parents can't afford it or something, which obviously sucks but that's life - and that ruining good things for others isn't right or acceptable, but maybe the solution is to ask the other kid if they could play together, or if the child could borrow the toy some time.

Nowadays, I feel that jealousy is normal. It's not good or bad, right or wrong - it just is. And just like with any emotion, what matters is how you respond to it. What I've found most beneficial is to try and use my jealousy as inspiration to do better, to work harder on what I want in my own life - and sometimes, I realise I don't even really want what I'm jealous of. I might just be unhappy in general, and need to examine what it is exactly that's making me feel that way. Sometimes, it's got nothing to do with what I'm feeling jealous of, and I just think getting what someone else has would solve my problems.

I know I'd be very jealous of someone who got their holidays and travels paid for by someone else! But I don't think feeling jealous necessarily rules out feeling happy for the other person, too. I know I feel both towards my friends these days. I also realise life isn't fair, and I may have to work harder than others to achieve certain things. That's just how it is.