You are doing the right thing Daisy1122
It is the many years of emotional control & abuse that has you in a state of self-doubt and uncertainty

I had a deal breaker with my own not long ago. He did not honour it & I had to do the same thing. Leaving. It is the first time that I held firm in all the years with him.
The 'victim card', 'guilt card', put downs were soon served to me.

It is difficult after a long period of time to see clearly, but you need to leave NOW while you still have some 'semblance of self'
These personality types are definitely controlling & manipulating & it only gets worse with time.

Good luck - work on yourself