Saw my T yesterday and discussed what my pdoc had said last week. My T was shocked and angered(in a calm T way) at what the pdoc had said. My pdoc kept bringing up God and telling me how God was working in my life despite his own admission that bringing up religion triggers me. In fact that is one of the reasons he doesn't want to be my doctor anymore, he thinks him being super-religious and unable to separate it from his medical practice is harmful to me (who has been abused by religious people) AND impossible for him to treat me since I have 'different' spiritual views.

Sigh...

Then, my T is also in total opposition when it comes to my diagnosis. My pdoc thinks it is all PTSD and is now bringing in Borderline Personality ideas as well but totally ignores all my MOOD episodes. My T is certain I have BP1 as I have had at least one severe manic episode with psychosis, many hypomanic episodes and many Major depressive episodes. My pdoc is off the planet but I cannot report him as I would no longer be able to go to the hospital I have been connected to for 7 years as the other pdoc's there would just see the label BPD and think I am stirring up **** out of some pathological perceived hurt.

So, I will keep my mouth shut and hope the pdoc I am seeing next Wednesday (who is attached to the same hospital) will be a good one who actually takes the science of psychiatry seriously, will be able to correctly diagnose, treat and generally be respectful to me. It will take a few sessions with this guy so I am going to have to wait till things settle down for me. Apart from being so angry and fed up with being treated badly by people who say they are helping I am actually doing really well. So thankful for this because changing doctors in such stressful circumstances is hard enough when well. I am trying so hard to stay calm and not react, to stay healthy and prevent an episode.

Finally, I am so thankful for my sane, skilled, knowledgable and caring T who helps me see it is not me who is crazy and that I have done really well to come from a psychotic break straight into my pdoc telling me he is dumping me for religious reasons and having odd ideas about my diagnosis, and being triggered by my cousin a few weeks ago. All that in 9 weeks and I am still well. And uni starts back in 10 days. I feel a bit overwhelmed but coping. In fact I have been downright cheerful.

Sorry for the long post. I had to get that off my chest.