Most of the time, I have some inkling of why I'm depressed, but not now. My T can't seem to help, so I feel guilty for even going to therapy.

It feels a bit like I should know what's wrong, yet "it" is just out of reach. I've repressed my childhood memories of my mother up to the age of 12, which leaves a huge hole in what I could be talking about (not that those memories are the cause of my depression, necessarily).

I'm struggling with wanting to SH. I can text or call my T, but I don't know what I would say. I've never felt this empty or clueless about why I feel as I do and it's incredibly painful.

I think this is just a vent. But if anyone else has had this experience, I would welcome insights, suggestions, comments, etc.