People on the outside who I am close to have worried about my decision making and lack of judgment while I'm manic. Sometimes, I will have some awareness that what I'm doing isn't that safe or good for me, but the mania prevents me from caring about that since I feel so euphoric or speedy. Every now and then during mania, usually when I'm about to crash (or feel mixed mania), I'll start to realize I am losing control. The only problem is, often nothing stops it, even if there is that awareness, until I crash.